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April 02, 2005
Rest of Charles' family sorry they can't miss the wedding too
Members of the Royal Family have reacted to the Queen's decision not to attend the Charles/Camilla wedding, primarily with envy. "Her Majesty will be unable to attend the ceremony due to an unfortunate scheduling conflict," a spokesman said. "Her attendance would conflict with her strong desire to snub Camilla."
The Queen's husband, Prince Phillip, will also not be in attendance. "The Queen feels that she has done enough for Charles," said HRH The Duke of Edinburgh with all his royal tact. "She had his ex-wife killed for Gods sake. She has worked like a darky for that boy, and Im not bloody well standing there at that stupid buggery wedding like some Chinese coolie at a dog-eating party," he said.
However other members of Charles family will appear, albeit reluctantly. "I was planning not to attend as a matter of principle", said Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York. "But then I remembered that I have no principles. Plus there's free food."
Charles points to the spot in the garden where he wishes his mother was buried.
But let us not forget the true deapth of this love they share...
Sometimes a feminine-hygiene product is not just a feminine-hygiene product-for instance, when Prince Charles told Camilla Parker Bowles in a phone call (intercepted by that nasty British newspaper) that "I want to feel my way along you, all over you and up and down you and in and out" waxed his highness, adding that he would like to live in Camilla's underwear "as a tampon".
This, of course, is standard locker-room talk among straight men. All purely heterosexual men express their muff-love with such headlong, tone-deaf, desperate-to-be-believed devotion.
Whatever floats your yacht.
Do you think YOU could be a royal?... take the test
Posted by Andrew at April 2, 2005 09:08 AM